For Woman… so funny

Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and

Women

PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children  is enough.

Q :  I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes  university.

Q :  What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s  sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and  so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your  question?

Q :  My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labour,  but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a cyclone might  be called an air current.

Q: When is the best  time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q :  Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife  is in labour?
A: Not  unless the word ‘child support payment’ means anything to you.

Q: Is there  anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes,  pregnancy.

Q :  Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s nappy very  quickly

Q :  Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act  normal again?
A:  When the kids are in university.

‘OESTROGEN ISSUES’

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE

‘OESTROGEN ISSUES’

1. Everyone around you  has an attitude problem.
2. You’re adding chocolate  chips to your cheese omelette.
3. The dryer has shrunk  every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly  agreeing to everything you say.
5. You ‘re using your  mobile phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: ‘How’s my  driving-call 0800-‘.
6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation  to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have  just landed here from ‘outer space.’
9. You’re sure that  everyone is scheming to drive you crazy..
10. The Nurofen Plus  box is empty and you bought it yesterday..

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY

WOMEN  UNDERSTAND
10. Cats’ facial expressions.
9.  The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why  bean sprouts aren’t just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a  car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5.  The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash  curlers.
2.. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale  ever made.

AND, the Number  One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN